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Iím so Rhoda MorgansternÖ not Mary Richards

Thursday 06th of July 2006

The first day back to work after the holiday weekend. I had a new lease. I woke up early for the first time in it felt like 6 months to go to the gym. I woke up early and actually got up and went and actually worked out. Totally feeling my meager achievement, I went home, showered, did my hair, ate breakfast, made lunch and left for work. I am a superwoman right? Iím nearly perfect right? Leaving for work on time basically as the rain begins. I have my stylish Brazil flag colored umbrella and I decide to walk to the subway stop slightly further from home but slightly closer to the office. I figured on the office side, Iíll want to just jump in and not walk the few blocks from the F. MISTAKE. MISTAKE. ABORT MISSION. About one block from the subway the rain turns to torrential downpour. If you know me you may know I use this term liberally, but this time Iím not. IíM SERIOUS. Within 30 seconds I am completely soaked. My pants are entirely wet and my top is almost see through. I had brain paralysis. I didnít know if I should stay under the tiny shelter I had sought with about 10 school kids waiting for the short but, turn around and go home or just fuck it and walk to the train. I chose the latter. I donít know why but I just figured there was nothing else to do. Humiliated and emotionally drained I swiped my card though the turnstile and of course it didnít work. My day old weekly card was soaked through and it took one more time to work. Luckily (I guess) the train came soon after I got to the platform so I didnít have to begin to sweat in my wet clothes and it was not too crowded. Rather than jumping into the first available seat to read THE TIMES on the 17 minute ride, I stood as close to the left doors which donít open on my journey and dripped. And dripped. And dripped. As I said to Keyís: I was a puddle of a woman. This is not a glamorous feeling people. This is not a feeling of power. This is what pathetic feels like and I donít like it. By the time I got to Grand Central I contemplated hitting Banana Republic or Daffyís for a last minute wardrobe salvage but Iím already late on my Amex bill and was just mad at life for this b.s. and didnít want to add to it by being annoyed at having to impulse buy an outfit (Iíve already done that 5 times in the last two months) so I soldiered on and went to work where I attempted to ring out my pants in the ladies room to no avail and ended up sitting in my chair for three hours until their dried and cursed everything I could imagine.

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